Warning signs

December 1, 2015

Who is most at risk for domestic violence?

All domestic violence is harmful. Although both men and women can be victims of domestic violence, women are most commonly victims of abuse and men are more commonly perpetrators. Women are most often victims in high risk situations, with the most serious injuries, and have the greatest likelihood of being killed by domestic violence. 

Some women are more vulnerable or face increased barriers to accessing domestic violence services or support. Indigenous women are 5-7 times more likely to be killed by abuse than non-Indigenous women. 60% of women with disabilities experience violence in their lifetimes, and women between the ages of 15-24 experience the majority of police reported violence. Immigrant women and women in rural communities are also at high risk due to lack of access to resources. Workers who identify as transgender report more prevalence of domestic violence in their lifetime than non-trans workers in Canada.

What are the warning signs that someone may be a victim of DV?

Some warning signs that someone may be experiencing domestic violence may include: 

  • Physical injuries such as broken bones, black eye, loss of hearing which victims may attribute as “accidents” or “from being clumsy” 
  • Inappropriate clothing for the season (such as long sleeves or turtle necks in the summer or wearing sunglasses indoors) 
  • Uncharacteristically late or absent from work, wanting to work extra hours to avoid going home
  • Change in job performance: errors, slowness, lack of concentration
  • Sudden signs of anxiety and fear
  • Making special work requests (such as to leave work early) 
  • Generally acting isolated and quiet
  • Emotional distress including sadness, depression, or suicidal thoughts 
  • Minimizing or denying harassment or injuries
  • Excessive phone calls, reluctance to respond to phone messages. Others at work may overhear or witness insulting messages intended for the victim 
  • Sensitivity if people ask about home life or trouble at home
  • Disruptive visits in the workplace by past or current partner
  • Fear of job loss
  • Sudden appearance of gifts (such as flowers) after an apparent dispute between the couple 
  • Using drugs and/or alcohol to cope 

These warning signs are intended to help direct your intuition and ask questions. Never jump to conclusions. Even if you think someone may be abused according to these warning signs, it does not mean that they are in an abusive relationship. Allow this list of warning signs to spark dialogue with a member. 

SNCit! See it, Name it, Check it

Three steps you can take to when talking to a member is the See it, Name it, Check it (SNCit) system: 

  1. See it – learn the warning signs, and treat your suspicions and concerns seriously. 
  2. Name it – name the warning signs as a concern. Always stick to the facts, as a bruise does not necessarily mean abuse. You might say “I saw bruises” or “I heard yelling” and “I am concerned about you”. 
  3. Check it – ask questions such as “are you ok?” and confirm your assumptions on whether the member is experiencing abuse. Remember that hearing these questions can be very difficult for someone, so be patient and allow your member to feel as though they are still in control of the conversation. 

Some examples of SNCit conversations:

“I’ve noticed you’ve been late to work more often lately. Is anything bothering you?”
“You looked upset after that phone call today. I’m worried about you. Are you ok?”
“I overheard your partner yelling at you on the phone today. Are you ok? Do you want to talk?”

The goal of these conversations is NOT for you to act as a therapist, but rather for you to express concern and open a door for support. SNCit conversations work best in a private setting, such as an office with the door closed or away from where others can hear/see the conversation. 

What are the warning signs of abusive behaviour?

When a person is engaging in abusive behavior at home, they may not be recognized as an abuser at work. Some common warning signs of abusive behavior in a relationship include: 

  • Putting their partner down 
  • Dominating conversations
  • Checking up excessively 
  • Suggesting they are the victim 
  • Isolating the victim 
  • Acting as if they own their partner 
  • Lying to make themselves look good 

Some workplace warning signs of abusive behavior include: 

  • Is absent or late due to a conflict at home
  • Repeatedly contacting their partner during work 
  • Bullying others at work
  • Blames others (especially their partner) for their problems
  • Denies problems in general 
  • Acts defensively when challenged and cannot take criticism 
  • Acts superior than others in their home 
  • Controls current or past partners activities 
  • How are abusers impacted in the workplace?

Perpetrators of domestic violence also are negatively impacted at work by their abusive behavior. Many abusers find their work performance is negatively impacted, that they have a hard time concentrating when at work, and can be at high risk of causing a workplace accident due to distraction. 

When is a situation high risk?

Just as some victims are at higher risk, some circumstances can lead to particularly dangerous domestic violence. 

High risk factors include when the abuser: 

  • Has access to the children
  • Has access to a weapon 
  • Has a history of abuse 
  • Shows obsessive behavior 
  • Threatens to harm or kill the victim if they try to leave 
  • Threatens to harm children, pets, or property of the victim 
  • Has threatened to kill themselves
  • Has hit or choked the victim 
  • Is going through major life changes (such as losing their job, is going through a separation, has depression) 
  • Is convinced the victim has another romantic partner
  • Blames the victim for worsening their life 
  • Refuses support and help
  • Supervises the victims actions, phone calls, emails, text messages, or follows them in public
  • Is unemployed
  • Is commonly using a substance such as drugs or alcohol
  • Disregards the law 
  • Has attempted to isolate the victim from friends or family 

Other signs that a victim may be in serious danger are when a victim:

  • Has just separated with the abuser or is planning to leave
  • Is fearful for their life or their children’s life
  • Cannot see any problems or risk with the relationship
  • Is in a custody battle or has children from another relationship
  • Is involved with another relationship
  • Has no access to a private phone or computer  
  • Faces other obstacles such as not speaking English or not having Canadian citizenship 
  • Has no friends or family involved in their life 

The more risk factors that a situation embodies the higher the danger. If a risk factor is present in a situation, seek expert advice for safety planning, and encourage the victim to have a local women’s shelter or the police do a risk assessment.